The five main reasons for your laziness:
- Lack of Self Confidence
- Lack of Support (Being Celebrated or Cheered)
- A Lack of Recognition
- Lack of Self-Discipline
- Lack of Interest
In this episode, I want to talk about a problem we all struggle with. It’s called laziness. It’s the thing that holds us back from our major goals, the things that stop us from getting what it is we ultimately want.
We all experience it. We all struggle with being lazy. We all struggle with actually doing the work, showing up and just getting it done. We all struggle with that, so it’s not something to feel bad about or embarrassed or anything like that, but I’ve found that if you can better understand why you are being lazy, it can help you to break out of it.
Lack of Self Confidence
The first major reason that you are being lazy is that you lack self confidence. Now, we talked about this a little bit in the five part episode on how to beat procrastination based on the article from Celestine Chua.
The idea here is that you are being lazy, or you are procrastinating, or you are not doing the thing simply because you lack self confidence. You do not believe in your ability to do the thing and to do it well. Maybe you think, okay, I’ll show up and I’ll do it, but it’s not going to be great, so I’m not going to do it at all. Or maybe you think, well, I won’t even be able to do it. Or maybe you think, well, I’m gonna do it, but nobody’s gonna care.
You lack confidence in yourself and your ability to execute the task. And so rather than face that potential pain of the reality that you can’t, because that’s a possibility, it is possible that you can’t do that thing. It’s very possible. I’m not gonna sit here and sugar coat this for you. It’s very possible that you’re going to try this thing and you’re going to fall on your face and you’re going to feel embarrassed, you’re going to feel sad, and you’re going to feel like, why did I even bother? That’s a real possibility.
So rather than face that pain, you just succumb to laziness. You succumb to procrastination because you just want to live in the dream world where it’s all still possible, where it’s still possible for you to be amazing at it. You’d rather live in the fantasy of potentially being amazing, then face the potential reality of failing.
It’s absurd when you think about it, but we all do it. It’s not something that is unique to you or unique to me. We all struggle with it. So that’s reason number one, lack of self confidence.
How to Fix It:
Honestly, self confidence, and I’ve talked about this in previous episodes, self confidence comes from action. You need evidence of the opposite. You need to show yourself that you can do this thing or that if you can’t do it, you are able to deal with the crushing feeling of failure. You need to show yourself that if you can just get yourself to take some kind of action, any action whatsoever towards the thing, you’re going to start feeling a little bit better about it.
Lack of Support
Now this is one that we often don’t think of. We don’t like to think that we need people to cheer for us, right? We don’t want that feeling of having to depend on somebody else to cheer us up or motivate us or inspire us or whatever it is. But without that support, it causes a noticeable difference in our actions.
When you have that support, you might take it for granted. You might say you don’t need it. You might do all of these things without that support.
As you’re trying to take the actions and you’re struggling and you’re going through the pain and you’re falling on your face and you feel embarrassed and all of these things, you’re doing it alone. Or at least you feel like it. You feel like you’re doing it alone. You feel like you’re working so hard and struggling through this thing and nobody understands you.
All you need is somebody around you to say, hey, you got this. You can do it. Keep going. Work harder. You got this, I believe in you.
That’s all you need.
Just that little bit of emotional support, that little bit of a push to keep going when it gets tough to keep going, when it gets hard. And by the way, this also extends to non emotional support, the physical support, the real world support, support from your spouse, support from your kids. If you are working your tail off right now to go back to school, but you’ve got two kids and a husband that isn’t supporting you, guess what? It’s going to be really hard to keep showing up. It’s going to be really hard to deal with it when you feel like the world around you is crumbling.
How to Fix It:
This one’s difficult because you can’t change how other people are. Now there’s two things I would recommend. The first is to talk to them. Talk to the people around you. Let them know. Ask for the support that you need or the support you feel you aren’t getting. Ask for it because that’s one of the major mistakes that I think people make is that we never ask for the help we actually need, we just hope and pray that if we just imply it enough, if we just talk around the point enough that they’ll pick up on it.
Just ask for the support. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. There’s nothing to feel bad about. Ask for the support you need with the people around you.
That doesn’t mean you’re going to get it though…
They may not want to give it to you. They may just say, well, whatever. They may not care, but you gotta at least ask and see what happens. And then the second thing is you’ve got to surround yourself with different people.
If they are naturally not supportive and you talk to them and they still are not providing the emotional support that you need or the physical support that you need, that doesn’t mean you cut them out of your life, but it does mean that you go somewhere else to get the support you need.
That does mean that you maybe join a mastermind, maybe you join a group in town, a meetup group, maybe you start going to more events. You start meeting people in Facebook groups. You just start to build out a network of people that you know when you go to them with x, y, z accomplishment or problem, you’ll have the emotional and physical support that you need.
Lack of Recognition
This one is interesting because it’s very similar to a lack of support. These two sort of feed off of each other, but this is more so once you accomplish something.
It’s really difficult when you work your tail off, you put in that effort and you get it done, you accomplish it and then you feel like, well that’s not that big of a deal. You know, it doesn’t matter. And the people around you won’t take the few seconds it would take to say good job.
It’s one of those things that we don’t want to admit that we need. But we do, it helps a lot and it helps to make sure that the next time we take on a challenge, we know that at the end of it people are going to feel like you did something that was valuable and it also helps you to take more pride in the thing.
You know how hard you work, you know how much effort you put into this is a big deal. So that lack of recognition, it’s going to be the same response or the same way to fix it as number two, lack of support.
How to Fix It:
You’ve got to talk to your people and ask them for what you want and you’ve got to find other people that can provide whatever it is you need.
It’s the same answer, but it’s what what you need to do. You can’t change their behavior, but you can ask them to give you what you need and if they still won’t, then you can find other people who will.
Lack of Self-Discipline
This is one I’ve struggled with. This was one that many of you, after I did my episode on self-discipline, said you also struggled with. Self-Discipline is critical. It’s critical. It’s something that I shied away from for a while. It’s something that I felt, and I talked about this in my episode on self discipline, I felt like I didn’t want to “discipline” myself. It has that negative connotation to it.
I watched the video that Terry Crews shared where he presented self discipline as self love. Because you love yourself too much to let yourself eat that thing or not take that action or whatever it is.
You love yourself too much. You love the future version of yourself. You love the present version of yourself too much to not hold yourself accountable to the things that you say you want to do.
That is what self discipline is. And if you don’t have that self discipline, sometimes, honestly, laziness is really just about you’re just being lazy and all you need to do is just get up and do the thing. Like sometimes there’s no emotional reason behind it. There’s no like, uh, everyone around me sucks thing behind it. It’s just you gotta get up and do it. That’s where self-discipline comes in. And if you don’t have that, it can be a struggle.
How to Fix It:
You’ve got to build self discipline and the way you do that is by doing what you say you’re going to do. The way I started doing it for myself is I fixed one thing, a single thing. I started every single morning drinking a glass of water as soon as I woke up. That was it. That’s the only change I made.
That enabled me to start waking up at [5:30] AM in the morning, which I now do and love and I’m going to talk about in a future episode. That enabled me to start making sure I control my first meal. That enabled me to start making sure I’m at the gym.
That very simple act of drinking more water first thing in the morning put me in a position to start building some self discipline that I could then pull from in order to build the other habits. So you’ve just got to find one thing you can commit to tell yourself you’re going to do it and then do it. Start building the muscle of self discipline. If you can do that, then guess what? You win, you win. It’s that simple.
Lack of Interest
If you’re just not interested in something, you’re going to be lazy about it. This is where self discipline can help, but it’s also important to try and do more things that you are interested in.
If you want to go work out, but you hate doing weights, don’t do weights. You don’t have to. You can do a workout class, you can do cycling, you can do yoga, you can do pilates, you can do all of these different things. You don’t have to do weights, you don’t have to do a running, you don’t have to do any particular thing just because people tell you you should.
How to Fix It:
Take the time to test things and find something you are actually interested in. And that will make it much easier to keep.
Because guess what? If you go to the gym and you take a yoga class every single week, whereas you never worked out before, one day a week of doing yoga is still way better than not doing anything.
Even if you’re not lifting weights, even if you’re not running, even if you’re not doing all the things that all these articles say that we need to do, find the thing you like and just do that. Don’t worry about anything else.
*This episode was produced with support in part from Blinkist the only app that takes the best key takeaways, the need-to-know information from thousands of nonfiction books and condenses them down into just 15 minutes so you can read or listen to.*